Get Out of the Cubicle

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

To Polarize or not to Polarize?

Echoing Luke’s sentiments from yesterday, I don’t endorse products. That’s generally not my style. I figure American consumerism is bad enough already, the last thing Average Joe needs is another excuse to go buy that mp3-playing can opener he’s always wanted. Well folks, even my rules were sometimes meant to be broken, so I give you my first ever product endorsement.

Polarized sunglasses.

Last month, after breaking my fifth pair of rest-stop sunglasses in as many weeks, I finally decided it was time to invest in solar protective wear that wasn’t pulled off an assembly line in Cambodia. Being a man of impeccable taste and a soft spot for sporty-name brands, I went with Oakley’s Flak JacketTM frames with polarized lenses.

I never thought I’d spend more money on sunglasses than I do on a date, but after giving these bad-boys a test run I was immediately sold. In addition to costing between $50~$100 more than traditional lenses and making you feel like an absolute gangsta’ in the process, polarized lenses also offer a uniquely crisp image of the world by eliminating the effect of reflective glare off a flat surface.

You see, light travels in waves. If you remember your 8th grade science textbook, you’ll recall those images where light waves are drawn as a zig-zag lines. When light is reflected from a flat surface however (like water or a paved road), it generally travels in a horizontal pattern. This reflection produces that icky thing we complain about while driving. Glare.

What makes polarized lenses so freakin’ cool then? They contain a special filter that blocks this type of intense reflected light, reducing glare. Now when I am in the out-of-doors not only can I stare directly at the sun with minimal discomfort, but I can run, swim, and parade myself through nature knowing that my eyes will not be blinded by the powerful forces of Mother Earth.

Excuse me sir, but will you be needing a sun visor with your car rental?

No thanks, these lenses are polarized.

Score: Dan 1, Nature 0.

*Note, I am not a scientist. My understanding and thus explanation of glare is as rudimentary as basic algebra. In no way, shape, or form do I pretend to understand the complexities of specular reflection. All I know is that my father was right, polarized lenses really give nature a new look. A worthy investment indeed.

Sincerely from Argentina,

Dan “down there” Josebachvili